Phoebe Roberts

So this weekend has been full of surprises for me. I will speak about each on them in turn soon, but I’ve been meaning to post about this since I got it the other day, so I’ll start with that.

I got a message in the inbox of my Tumblr. I was confused at first because it showed up in my messages but didn’t look like an Ask; in fact, it had my username banner on it even though it wasn’t a post made by me. A little research into how Tumblr works suggests that it was a Submission made anonymously. Apparently that’s how anonymous submissions show up in your box. When I actually read it, I was kind of blown away. I will not reproduce it in its entirety, but I will show you the first paragraph:

“Hey. So I don’t know how to say this any other way so I’m sending you this anonymously so I can just say it. I read your Adonis script. I read you were cool with other people reading your stuff so I did. First of all it’s really good. You probably already know that. But I wanted to tell you that it meant alot to me how you portrayed Aiden as a straight male rape victim who got assaulted by a woman. Cause I’m one too.”

I really want to talk about this, as I’m really feeling overwhelmed at the idea that somebody could have that response to something I wrote. I do want to respect this person’s feelings and privacy, as this person sent this to me anonymously in a private forum. It suggests they don’t want everyone to see it. I am not quoting any more than this– much as I’d like to share it with people, that’s probably not appropriate. But maybe it’s not too far to say in general terms that the writer described an experience of sexual assault, and how reading our screenplay was the first time he’d seen any situation even vaguely like his represented in storytelling, and that was meaningful to him.

I want to talk about it because I’m really moved. It’s a really important part of the script that we represent Aidan as a rape survivor in an emotionally honest way. Somebody who actually experienced something along the lines of what he experienced was touched by it in a significant way. It felt genuine and affecting to somebody who understood better than I do what it feels like to be in that situation. That’s amazing for me.

I also feel really sad for this person. As good as I feel that I reached him in this way, I feel bad that he has this wound such that he could be reached. I can’t begin to guess who this is– clearly he wants it that way –but I can’t help but be curious. Especially since I thought I knew all the straight guys who’d read the script, and I’m not sure how this person would have gotten a hold of it. It does seem to be somebody I know, given that they’re concerned about their anonymity and know that I have a Tumblr. I really should leave it at that and not press any further– again, clearly they want their privacy to be respected, and I don’t want to be an asshole even though I’m curious –but it makes me sad to think I have a friend or even an acquaintance that had such a terrible thing happen to them.

Anyway, this was pretty mind-blowing for me. And it makes me more certain than ever that we’re ON TO SOMETHING with this script.